Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Going through my Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy files (because everyone should have such files) I found myself re-watching the amazing 2005 trailer, and it dawned on me: They described the Guardians of the Galaxy trailers perfectly. Should we be worried?

Hitchhiker's, the 2005 adaptation, was a mediocre film based on an amazing property with a cult following. The movie may not have been much to write home about, but the trailers were amazing.

Guardians, the forthcoming 2014 adaptation, is a film based on an amazing (if little known) property with a cult following. The trailers are amazing.

Heck, check out trailer 2 again:

The thing is, trailers sometimes lie. Now, I'm not suggesting we should panic or anything - in fact I'm getting quite psyched about the film, so I hope not - but the similarities are rather jarring.

In the 2005 trailer, Stephen Fry, as the voice of "The Book," describes what it takes to be a truly great trailer:

Typically they begin with the introduction of the main character

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Who will very shortly have something so utterly fantastic happen to him, that someone just had to make a movie out of it

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Often this section is preceded by the words "In a world..."

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

But sometimes not

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Trailers also normally employ a deep voice

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Lots of things blowing up

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Occasionally interrupted by a girl in a bikini

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Generally trailers also feature: heartless evil villains

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Hideous creatures

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Dolphins*

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Physical violence

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

And of course, the promise of true love

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

And lastly, there is a final montage

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Often set rock music, to be designed simply to blow away whatever synapses you have left in your brain

This culminates in a reveal of the main title

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Followed by the release date

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Guardians of the Galaxy: Panic Worthy?

Hmm... anyway, food for thought.

* In this case, "dolphins" becomes a catchall term for any adorable animal or character. Similarly, the word "bikini" will be taken to mean any sort of cheesecake.